"fools mock, but they shall mourn..."

that's what the lord says in the book of ether in the book of mormon: another testament of jesus christ. i've just finished reading this amazing book for the seventh time, and it's still teaching me lots of things about christ that i need to ponder. i have no doubt that it will continue to do so in the reads/years to come.

since coming home from my mission, i've been experiencing the world around me as more of a participant than observer because i am no longer a missionary. i'm just a regular girl now. truthfully, i see a lot of confusion, sadness, hurt, and sin going on in the world. i see a lot of mixed signals, but, truthfully, when it comes down to it, the shades of gray can be separated into white and black. there is righteousness and there is wickedness. our job is to decide where the lord stands and then make sure we are worthy and willing to stand on that side, firm in the decision.

there's the saying that preparation precedes power (which is also the title of a book i read prior to serving my mission). it's great to prepare for big tests, big auditions, big races, you name it. we know that practice makes perfect. the same thing goes for your spiritual preparedness. we hear it all the time that we need to study the gospel every day. and i did before my mission. i read the book of mormon, talks, the bible, the doctrine and covenants, the pearl of great price, jesus the christ, and other gospel literature. it was really, really good and really, really edifying.

when i got to the missionary training center, one of the counselors in my branch presidency asked who was reading the book of mormon every day. i think i was the only person who didn't raise her hand. don't get me wrong -- i'd totally read the book of mormon multiple times, and i definitely had a testimony of its truth -- but i didn't read it every day. it was part of my rotation -- book of mormon, bible, general conference talks, etc. my counselor told me i should read the book of mormon, specifically, every day, to have a powerful testimony and love for that book as i taught and testified of it to others on the mission and throughout life. from that day forward, i read it every day.

i read the book of mormon four times on the mission: twice in portuguese and twice in english. i wrote down the things i studied and learned. i shared those things with my companions, other missionaries, my investigators, and members. i found my personal study much more edifying. i found answers to a lot of my questions about the gospel within those 531 pages (620 in the portuguese version). i developed a greater love for my savior, my god, and their prophets. i even developed a greater love for myself through the knowledge that i truly am a daughter of my heavenly father. my testimony of a truly restored gospel strengthened significantly as i read the proof of god's love for me every day. and as i read it with others learning about it for the first time, the desire to bear my testimony of that book brought me more joy than i am able to express. i marked up my scriptures in portuguese more than any other copy in english because of all of the epiphanies i had by reading the experiences of the book of mormon prophets.

since being home, i've seen and heard my share of dissenting opinions regarding mormonism, the church of jesus christ of latter-day saints, the prophet joseph smith, the preaching that mormon missionaries do, and christianity in general. at times, it makes me sad to see these things. at times, i don't know how to respond to the opposition for fear of sounding stupid and "brainwashed." however, i know that i am neither of those things and neither are the millions of other latter-day saints like me who have read the book of mormon and received a witness from the holy ghost that it is holy scripture from god. i don't have all of the answers i seek, but i know and feel enough in my heart and mind to know that the book of mormon is exactly what it says it is -- another testament of jesus christ. while people try to debunk its credibility with reason and logic, i can't help but sit here, thinking, "you know what? logic fails us sometimes. we are not perfect, and scientific and philosophic opinions change." this doesn't mean i don't love intellect, but it does mean that i know it isn't everything when it comes to reaching a conclusion, especially one of a spiritual nature. if you want to research the book of mormon, you've got to read it. if you want to know if it truly is what it says it is, you've got to read it and then pray and ask god about it, with a sincere heart. that is the only way you'll know. that's what i've told people for the last year and a half, and it's what prophets have been saying for hundreds of years.

i love and support the leaders of the lds church. i especially love and support our living prophet, thomas s. monson. i sustain him as the only man with all of the access to knowledge of the kingdom of god and how christ would have his church run. i had to study and pray about that, too, and i'm so thankful that i did. god called prophets anciently that did the same thing, so i know we need a prophet in today's world, too.

my boy, paul, says it the best in romans 1:16 (new testament):
"for i am not ashamed of the gospel of christ: for it is the power of god unto salvation to every one that believeth; to the jew first, and also to the greek."

i'm going to go read el libro de mormon now. it's been sitting on my nightstand for a few weeks.